CinderFrodo
by AngieT
Summary: How Frodo really got the Ring.


Title:Cinder-Frodo.

Author:AngieT

Warnings: This is Extremely silly.

Thanks:Maura for Betaing

When Drogo and Primula Baggins drowned they left behind them their 12-year-old son Frodo. Being an orphan was a rare thing in the Shire and no one quite knew what to do with the lad. There was something unlucky about having lost both parents and the boy was eyed with a certain amount of suspicion.

Luckily Lobelia and Otho Sackville-Baggins arrived claiming the closest relationship to the young orphan and so he was settled in Hobbiton.

Frodo, slight for his age and possessed of a pair of enormous blue eyes arrived at the S-B's to find a certain change in his fortune. Lobelia promptly let the kitchen maid go and settled Frodo in her place as a cook, cleaner and general maid-of-all-work and drudge.

Lobelia was given to loud pronouncements on how kind and generous she was being to take in the boy, and ordering him around like a skivy. At first whenever relatives visited – which was infrequently – Frodo was washed, dressed in nice things and trundled out to display Lobelia's largess. Then it was back to the rags, the kitchen and his bed by the hearth. But soon even these displays stopped and most of Hobbiton managed to forget that Frodo was Lobelia's poor relation and not just the Hobbit-of-all work.

"Bilbo is giving a birthday party," Lobelia announced one day while Frodo was serving dinner. "Half of Hobbiton has been invited."

"Should be some good presents," said Lotho, stuffing muffins in his face as fast as Frodo could serve them.

"He has invited us all," she announced.

"Even me?" Frodo dared to ask.

Lobelia sneered. "Yes he has invited you, but you need not expect to be going. I have lots of jobs for you to be doing. Bilbo will be 111 and I expect he will be announcing Lotho as his heir at the party."

Lotho preened.

Frodo's only friend was the gardener boy, Sam Gamgee. It was ironic that though born into a lower social status Sam had a much better position in life than the young Baggins. Sam had a large caring family; although his clothes were home made and of cheap hardwearing material they were always lovingly repaired and in good order. Sam was also a lot better fed that Frodo was and although the boy was younger he was already larger than Frodo.

There could not have been a stronger contrast between the two but for all this they had become close friends and Samwise often mourned the state into which Frodo had fallen and the ill treatment meted out to him by the S-B's.

The day of the party dawned and the Sackville-Baggin's were all of a flutter. Lobelia had Frodo running around the smial until he was dizzy. He had to iron her best dress, help her to dress her hair, then there was Lotho to be taken care of, his suit brushed, foot hair combed.

"Snag me again and you won't be able to sit down for a week."

At last all the preparations were complete and exhausted Frodo sagged down in a kitchen chair. 

Lobelia swept in in all her finery and surveyed the kitchen. "Well Frodo, I expect you are wanting to go to the party now."

"Yes please ma'am," Frodo jumped up eagerly. "I have done everything you asked me."

Lobelia cast her gaze around the meticulously cleaned and swept kitchen. "Very well," she said. "I promised that you could go once all your chores were done." She swept around and made very sure that her skirts caught on the edge of two baskets, one full of raisins and the other of beans, scattering then to the floor with a crash. "Oops," she smiled. "You will need to pick up and separate all of those before you go." And she flounced from the room.

Frodo sat down amid the flood of raisins and beans and buried his head in his hands. He would never get this lot cleared up before midnight. He had to face it, he would not be going to the party. "Damn and blast you Lobelia," he muttered. "I wish…. I wish…" The room seemed to hold its breath around him. "I wish I had a Fairy Godmother."

There was a strange sucking noise in the air behind him and Frodo turned round frowning. What on earth was that? A mist forming in mid air? No – not a mist – smoke. A little stream of smoke rings, as though issuing from an unseen smokers mouth, puffed across the room in a dance of changing colours.

One smoke ring seemed to hover in the air, growing larger and larger – and then out of it stepped a tall grey clad figure with a long bushy beard and a tall pointed hat upon his head.

"I am your Fairy God person," the apparition announced grandly.

Frodo's jaw fell open. "Fairy God PERSON?"

"Middle Earth Equal Opportunities," muttered the figure with a dismissive wave of his staff. "Anyway – I am here to grant you three wishes."

"Three wishes…" Frodo repeated.

"That is the tradition." Gandalf poured himself a cup of tea and sat down.

"Are these the sort of three wishes that backfire in your face?" Frodo asked suspiciously. "Like wishing for a burrow-load of treasure and then finding you have to go to the Lonely Mountains with a load of dwarves and fight dragons to get it?"

"No no – you're thinking of something else entirely."

"Right then, first wish is easy. I wish Lobelia and Lotho were turned into spotted toads."

Gandalf waved his staff with out putting his tea cub down. "Done."

"I wish Old Bilbo Baggins would adopt me as his heir and then clear off and leave me Bag End and all the treasure."

Gandalf put down his cup, waved his staff grandly, and then picked up a buscuit. "He will be down to talk to you with in the half hour." Frodo made a mental note to serve the old hobbit up a nice meal – something with spotted toad maybe.

"Third wish," Frodo scratched his chin. "Let's see, that's Revenge, Wealth and Security taken care off. Nothing else I really need. I fancy being a bit frivolous this time. Something fun. I know – I wish I had a gold ring with magical powers to make me invisible."

Frodo was too busy rubbing his hands with anticipated glee to notice the evil little smile that crossed the wizard's face.

end


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